http://shityourmothernevertoldyou.blogspot.com/ <favorite bitch EVER!
Sometime in the past year, I have developed a pissing habit. FAIL!
My first pissing experience would come after a meeting of a guy from my whole "internet datingness"
My beloved roomie and I decided to venture to our favorite irish pub after work for happy hour. Can you really beat $.99 beers? I think not. So we go, have apparently FAR TOO MANY and I decide to invite my new internet interest of the week. We shall call him Jeremy, which yes, is his real name. He comes.. he is cute, short, but reminds me of the ex hubs, in a less innocent and less boring kind of way. We hit it off.. and all seems well. Anywhoooo.. The roomie decides to take my car to go get laid and left me in the care of Jeremy. hahahaha. Poor guy.
We go back to his house... and yeah, that's all I remember. legit.
All I know is I wake up in a wet ass bed. Fo' real?!?! At first, I thought maybe I spilled something.. yeah, the only thing that was spilling was the urine from my urethra. FML. So after laying in said piss for an hour or so, I have debated many options, including sneaking out of bed and calling a cab home.. eeek. Yeah, no such luck. Mr. Jeremy decides to awake and proclaim that I had peed in his bed. Ooooppss. My bad dude.
Do I always have to have such shenanigans on work nights?
We take the sheets off and throw some towels down and back to sleepy land we go. I was nice enough to repay the whole pissy beds with some epicness that we shall not speak of.. no, there was no sex, yet. hahaha.
So we get up and he awkwardly drives me to my hizzy in a timely manner. Some bitches have work to attend. Had a nice awkward run in with his female roommate, which I am sure he had to explain the flooding in his bed to. eek. Sorry kid.
Now most guys would never talk to a girl who pissed in their bed. Apparently my gift giving was very well received. We had a lunch date the next day. I was surprised when someone brought me the most amazing and appropriate gift everrrr.. a bag of plastic dinosaurs. For those that don't know me, I HEART dinosaurs.. hence the whole Land Before Time half sleeve.. and the dino behind each ear. So.. as thoughtful as it was.. my sexship with Jeremy aka bed pissing buddy only lasted a month or so.. I never did pee in his bed again... perhaps I should have to make it last a little longer... but in the words of my wise ass self.. out with the old and in with the new.. aka NEXT!!
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