Do you ever have those moments when you wake up and are like, "WHERE THE FUCK AM I? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?" I used to have those quite frequently. They make for some of the most memorable times in my life.
So being newly single and delving into the world of internet dating is always an adventure. In the beginning of my single life, I was all about fun, not looking for anything serious. I was down for anything.. and by anything I mean drinking a lot and not remembering shit. So I met this guy Chris off of Plenty of Fish. He was wicked hot. Army guy, just here for school. We like the same music, both like to drink.. so first date is drinks of course. I decided we should go to my favorite locals bar. The Boxx. Always a fun time and you can't beat $5 pitchers. So Chris picks me up, he is super hot.. and off we go to the bar. This is where my night gets pretty fuzzy. I remember drinking lots of beer, some random guy becoming our new best friend and buying us LOTS of shots. The bar was empty... and it goes black....
This is where that "WHERE THE FUCK AM I? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?" moment kicks in. I wake up in a hotel room. Look at the clock, it is 8:15 a.m... did I mention that this was a weeknight. I am supposed to be at work in 15 minutes. FUCK!! My phone is dead... can't call work.. I freakkkk! So I look around.. we are in a double room. Chris is in one bed, I am in the other.. wet. Yes, I pissed myself. Which is the start of a regular thing. My bladder and beds are like 2 peas in a pod. I wake him up and start searching for my clothes, because of course, I'm naked. I find everything BUT my pants. After searching for a few more minutes, I venture onto the balcony. (The hotel is on the beach) I find my pants, at last! Unfortunately.. couldn't get away that easily... THEY ARE IN A PUDDLE OF SOME LIQUID WHICH IS UNBEKNOWNST TO ME. I have to put my soaking wet pants on and we start our adventure to the car. Yeah.. there comes problem number 750,000... the fucking car got towed! You can't park overnight in the public parking lot. Sober me knew that, drunk me.. yeah, she didn't give a flying fuck. I ended up taking a cab home.. rushing to work, without showering. It was a glorious day in the office. I am pretty sure I was still drunk. I looked like a back alley hooker who had a long, busy night.
All in all it was one of my top nights out. Chris is lucky he slept in the other bed.. or his night would not have been quite so much fun. Not every guy can handle the whole being pissed on thing. He didn't even get sex out of the evening.. I think someone fell asleep while they were having sex.. yeah, that someone was me. FAIL!
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