It's my birthday bitches

So today is the big 2-6. I have had a love/hate relationship with the idea. I feel like it is going to be a huge disappointment., and so far, I am right.

I woke up bright eyed at 5:30 a.m. today, which is strange, normally I am not up until 7. I guess I would rather not waste anytime on National Kaitlyn Day! It was already decided that I had to look beautiful for my birthday. So I decided to shower and get ready for the day.

So while getting ready for work and cruising facebook, I realize my mom had just updated her status to this:

The retard doesn’t remember how old I am? Really?? That is just a greatttt start to the day, your mother not knowing how old you are. Well that’s fine mom, I stopped counting your birthday after 755. You’re almost a dinosaur, which means I will just love you more. Rawr!

So I arrive to work late, thank you traffic. I actually left at a decent time, however fucktarded Virginia drivers opted for not driving properly today so there was mad traffic.

Not even 2 minutes into my workday my boss calls me into his office and yells at me. I only reminded everyone 75 million fucking times that is was my birthday on Monday last week. But God forbid he get his head out of his ass long enough to remember that he might have to not be a douche for 1 day. Perhaps he could have waited until tomorrow but that would have been too harsh on his ego.

For birthdays in our office it is customary for the office to buy us lunch, do a cake and we get a gift. I found it strange my boss’s dad, the office manager, hadn’t questioned what I would want for lunch? So I mentioned it to the AWESOME attorney in the office that I love. Well apparently they weren’t planning on doing that, they were just going to give me a gift and do cake and call it a day, until she reminded them. Umm fuck that. I have worked here for 3 years. The only cunt who has been here longer than me, is by a whopping 2 months. She got all that shiznit.  

What I have to be thankful for on this birthday are my amazing friends that have not forgotten I am a fucking insane bitch about my special day; my neighbor, Aubrey who is going to babysit my daughter so I can enjoy an outing on Saturday night and my daughter who keeps accidently spilling the beans about my birthday surprise when I get home. By the way Marni, we have to wait to do the cake until afftteerrr dinner, she doesn’t want to miss it!

Hopefully after the weekend, I shall have some HILARIOUS stories to post about. I plan on being highly intoxicated most of the weekend. I am investing in some depends fo’shizzle. I will rock the shit out of that sexiness. Plenty of pictures shall be posted, perhaps some links to some YouTube karaoke videos.  I am trying to beat last year’s shenanigans, so the challenge is on.

Here is a birthday picture of my mini-me and myself. She insisted we take one! <3 that kid!